The power of intentional reflection
I have often struggled to reflect effectively. I would slip into rumination, replaying past failures and recalling the shame or guilt when I wasn’t at my best. It’s no surprise to me, therefore, to find that many of my coaching clients avoid taking time to think about what they’re doing well, and how they can be even better. Many of us also struggle to label our emotions in a granular way, often only being able to identify generic feelings such as anger, stress, frustration, or anxiety. Brene Brown’s excellent book ‘Atlas of the Heart’ lists 87 different emotions. Other researchers have produced even longer lists!
Yet, it’s such an important skill for leaders. Research has shown that the habit of reflection can separate extraordinary leaders from mediocre ones. Certainly, in my experience, the best leaders have been the ones that carve out time to intentionally reflect. It makes them more thoughtful, impactful, and in turn, highly successful.
But how can we intentionally reflect? We’re often told that certain types of reflection are good for our wellbeing, such as gratitude diaries and journaling, but these are unspecific and vague, and don’t work for everyone. For me, there are a few things that we can do.
Firstly, it’s to take proper time to reflect. I find that I need to block out a weekly slot to do so in my calendar to make sure I do it. It only needs to be 15 minutes for me, and that’s about as long as I can concentrate before getting distracted. Getting set up by removing distractions, taking a few deep breaths to ‘land’ in the moment, preparing for it to be uncomfortable, and ensuring I have a pen and paper are also important.
The next step for me is to think about the things that have happened in the previous week that have had significant resonance for me. These are the events or conversations that have been particularly uncomfortable, stretching, energising, or anxiety inducing. There are several models available for reflection, but I like to keep things simple and use Driscoll’s ‘what, so what, now what’ model:
The ‘what’ question is about asking ‘what….
was the context?
is the problem/situation/difficulty/reason for being stuck/reason for success?
was the outcome of the situation?
feelings did the situation evoke in me (you could refer to Atlas of the Heart if helpful)?
were the consequences for me? And for others?
was good/bad about the experience?
‘So what’ is about evaluation and analyais. Ask, ‘so what….
does this tell me or teach me?
was going through my mind in the situation?
did I base my decisions or actions on?
could I have done differently to get a more desirable outcome?
is my new understanding of the situation?
does this experience tell me about the way I work?
‘Now what’ is about action planning. Ask, ‘now what...
do I need to do in the future to do better?
might be the consequences of this new action?
do I need to do to ensure that I will follow my plan?
It will feel uncomfortable at times, but I advise you not to give up too quickly! I’ve seen the power that intentional reflection can have, and it’s incredible. Give it a go.
In our flagship leadership programme, The Intentional Leader, we invest time in supporting leaders to reflect deeply on their own performance, values and behaviours, and define the impact they want to have on their teams, organisations, and society. It’s a great programme and we can customise it for your budget and needs. Get in touch if you’d like to find out more at info@hex-development.com.
